There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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