This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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