i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
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She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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