You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize