i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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