Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize