The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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