Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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