I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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