Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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