i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
this just has baby written all over it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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