you traded sex for a burrito?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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