i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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