Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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