It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize