It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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