everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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