help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
no, he came in my armpit
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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