I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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