absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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