Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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