Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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