I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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