The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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