She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
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I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
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I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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