i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize