atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize