i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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