I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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