yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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