It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
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I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
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His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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