Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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