writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize