if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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