Apparently you make a good broom.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize