Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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