Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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