Im at strip club and am horny
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
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How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
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We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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