a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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