So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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