After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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