They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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