people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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