You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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