I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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