He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I came so hard my ears popped.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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