I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize