Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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