Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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