My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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